"Your face have that 'Malay Gals are inferior look'."

Ok Isrin made that hilarious comment to me and
it almost made me fall to the floor!
wahahaha

Its bad enough that people acknowledge me as
a "cinafied malay guy",
and now i'm on the receiving end of yet another
comment that questions how "Malay"
i truly am.
hahahhaaha
Thanks ah rin!!!

I'll let you decide and be the judge and you
may comment upon the remark she made.
hahahaha
I'm open to criticism.

Its true that I'm very "cina-fied"
And you can tell from my circle of friends.
Furthermore, I appear much more comfortable
speaking English than my mother-tongue.
There you go.

But I would like to rebutt Rin's accusation whatsoever.
To say that i even think that, "Malay gals are inferior"
is a form of treachery at its very worst
and of course that thought DID NOT
even crossed my mind in the first place. haha

Its true that three-quarters of the time, i flirted with chinese gals
and the other one-quarter with malay gals.
As a result my friends were also surprised
that my first girlfriend is a Malay.
hahahaha

Never mind that.
Ok then i'll let you know a reason as to why i'm so cina-fied.
Its because i'm a lot more shy when mingling with
Malay gals as compared to the Chinese conterparts.
I dont know why, but its been this way since i dont know when.
Now you know...

A Happy Lunar New Year
to all my Chinese friends!!!

May you receive lots of hongbao
so you can treat me out to lunch/dinner or a bowling/pool outing haha
and remember to save that money
and buy me a present for my birthday!
hahahahaha
yes i know, shameless...
hahahaha

Anyway enjoy the long weekend and take care!!!
Theres nothing for me to say today.

I'm now working as a freelance camp instructor for
F.I.T (Fitness Innovation Team).
Its not much, the dates for the camp are not finalised
and i'll work only when there is a camp and they will call me up.
I've just completed 2 days of training.
Its probably the best job training there is coz its so much fun.

First Day:
Reported at Home Team Ns Adventure Centre at Bt Batok in the morning.
There were other pjc people too, including Karine, Zihong and Aida.
Had ice breaker games first.
Then moved on to the high elements where we practised belaying and climbing.
Then we moved on to the rockwall.

Man, i love rock climbing!!!
The rest of my group members
climbed normally using all the coloured rocks,
however me and another guy
in my group challenged each other to just use
one rock colour to climb.
It was damn challenging but i made it all the way to the top nevertheless.
Then we also tried abseiling.
I did abseiling before of course and when everyone was "walking down"
the wall, i did abseiling commando style by pushing off the wall and gliding down.
haha what a showoff, i know

After that we were briefed on the campsite and what to expect
and do during the camps.
The people there are just as nuts.
I guess all outdoor people are like that (me included)


Second Day:
The meeting place is at Chinese Garden.
If there is water activities included in the camp,
the camp will be held at Chinese Garden itself.
We practised kayaking.
I admit i really sucked at kayaking.
I was only one of 2 people who capsized. hahaha
Well at least i get to swim in the lake there haha.

Then we moved on to do dragon boat.
We had a mini dragon boat race but it was darn hillarious.
The person who steer the boat made us go into the direction
where there were tree branches overhanging near the banks.
And the other dragon boat also made one c-curve due to the steerman's
inability to make the boat go straight hahaha.
We had to wash up all the kayaks after that.

We all washed up and we herded into the company's van
and head to eat lunch together.
They are a big bunch of jokers man.
Cant believe the games and
jokes that they can come up with.
After that we went home.

I met up with my college senior, Fairus just now.
He shared with me his ns experiences for the past year.
I was impressed.
He was actually drafted to the army but after the BMT,
he got chosen to go for OCS but then they "hijacked"
him to go to Police where he became a police officer cadet trainee.
Now his rank is an Inspector!!!
Talked about what to expect in ns and stuff
and other stuff

Drifted around bp plaza and then i went home

I shall strive to be an officer cadet when i'm in ns.
Its a long shot.
But its always worth trying.

Thanks again to those who tagged on my board.
If i were to reply on my board it would be too troublesome.
So here it is.

[ez] ---yes i told you so being crazy helps when ur down =) =)
yeah we should be grateful to our sewel sisters =)

Sya---yes ok ok i forgot to put your name down too.
and yeah we both are indeed "gile nak mampus" hahaha

ppg--- forgiveness... i forgave her. but i'm not gonna forget.

feeza---thanks gal =) dont worry about me. i'll be alright. =)

aish--- hot cocoa? hmm maybe i'll try it soon. =)

ash---its ok. i'll be alright. thanks =)

umar---haha i already told you what i'm gonna do. so i wont say it here haha
meet up and lepak one corner k mat!!!

rin---mangoteafrapp?? sounds weird hahaha but nvm i'm up to trying new stuff.
I'll get that at you workplace too!!! haha =) thanks rin =)

................................................
I went to the gym yesterday.
Ran 5 km on the threadmill and i did other gym routines.
I should really get myself a pair of gloves.
Blisters are appearing on my palms after holding onto the free weights.
Ok Rebecca has agreed to accompany me on future gym outings.
Hehe i'm so honoured.
Anyone else wanna join in???

I met up with my first-3-months clique yesterday too.
But sadly only si qian, candy and fizh turned up.
Karwai said he was busy and josh is already in the army.
as usual si qian and candy was so caught up blabbing with each other.
and fizh and i were just spectators and we just looked on haha.
Oh yeah si qian and candy are now relief teachers!
I couldnt imagine both of them becoming that.
and candy kept talking in that "teacher-ish" tone
and it was so irritating.
haha.
we all updated each other on our lives.
and while both the ladies are still swinging single,
fizh and i both just broke up with our respective partners.
hahahaha
but it was relief for him but grief for me.
soo yeah theres a difference.
Didnt manage to stay too long and we said our goodbyes after that.

Thats all

Cant Take it---All American Rejects

You speak to me and
I know this will be temporary
You ask to leave,
but I can tell you that I've had enough

I can't take it
This welcome is gone and
I've waited long enough to make it
and if you're so strong
you might as well just do it alone
And I'll watch you go

Step up to me
I know that you've got something buried
I'll set you free
You set conditions, but I've had enough

I can't take it
This welcome is gone and
I've waited long enough to make it
and if you're so strong
you might as well just do it alone
And I'll watch you go

Come back home, won't you come home?
You step in line, you got a lot to prove
It comes and goes
Yeah, it comes and goes
A step in time, yeah it's a lot to move
I know this will be temporary
I know this will be temporary
I know this will be, but I've had enough

I can't take it
This welcome is gone and
I've waited long enough to make it
and if you're so strong
you might as well just do it alone
And I'll watch you go

I can't take it
This welcome is gone and
I've waited long enough to make it
and if you're so strong
you might as well just do it alone
And I'll watch you go
..........................................................................
Love this song man.
And maybe some parts of the lyrics apply to the situation i went through.

hahaha cant believe my previous post would stir up such attention.
I'm flattered. =)
Thanks guys and gals hahaha
...........................................................................................
Ok back to reality.
The past week has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
I've decided i'll just come clean with my readers.
I'm no longer in a relationship.
The dream is over.

I'll just stick to facts.
She wanted a timeout , to just remain friends and keep both our options open.
Her reason being, cant cope with her hectic life which besides her studies,
she has 2 competitions to prepare for.
She then says if its fated then maybe we'll be together again.

I know.
Your reactions would be, "What the hell/heck/fuck?????"
Thats how i reacted also.

I met up with her tried talking her out of it and
said i was willing to sacrifice everything to get back and give it a try.
But i failed.

Then yesterday i read her latest blog entry and was astonished about the contents in it.
I mean she didnt even mention all that to me in person but instead chose it to disclose
all that information to me in that way.
I called her again.
She was having a sore-throat and wouldnt want to talk to me.
I know there's still some misunderstanding of some sort and yet she wouldnt tell me.
She still have something to say and yet shes keeping it to herself.

The truth may hurt.
But i would rather live my life knowing what is going on,
rather than in denial.
You dont have to sugarcoat the answer with lies.
I just want the truth.
I wanna clear this misunderstanding and move on.

If i have hurt you in any way,
I apologize once again.
.....................................................

I owe it to my friends for cheering me up.
Lots of thanks to Serena, Yati, Umar, Isrin, Ezie, Aish, Rebecca,
Faris, Wendy, Si Qian, Fizh and the others tht i never mention.
I was emo and you guys cheered me up. =)
I'm moving on in life.
I'm not gonna dwell on my sorrows and live in guilt and depression.
Its not worth doing that.
There are other finer things in life.
Like enjoying your ice cream and drinking mocha frappuchinos. =)

As the saying goes, "Life goes on"

A lot of weird things happened today.

I went to Sultan Mosque for Friday prayers and after that i
wandered around Bugis alone (no this is not weird, i like to wander alone when i'm depressed)

First i saw a lanky teenager wearing a construction site helmet at Bugis MRT station oblivious
to the curious stares that he was attracting.

Then while i was sitting in the MRT, this tai tai aunty next to me fell asleep
and her head keep on swaying till it landed on my shoulder and it didnt help
when a mat and minah was sniggering at me while sitting opposite.
I then shifted uncomfortably and the aunty finally stirred and swayed in the other
direction doing a "Mr Bean".

Then I saw a unicyclist at Chinese garden! How i wish i could do that!!!
It looks damn cool!

But the most weirdest thing of all was this.
I was walking at Parco Bugis Junction wearing my depressed face,
when suddenly a guy walked up to me and said,
"Can I have a few minutes of your time? I'm not selling anything.
I'm from a modelling agency and we're looking for new faces.
What's your age? (I answered duh) Ok. Can you give me your name and contact number
so that we can give you a call. Heres my business card".

I was looking at him with a blank face.
I thought it was all a joke and I was really waiting for him to say "GOTCHA!!!".
But it did not come. He looked on earnestly and
I reluctantly gave him my name and hp no.
He then said ,"Ok thank you. We will give you a call. So you're going shopping??"
I was too tongue-tied so i said ya.
His reply,"Ok take care"
I walked away and looked at the business card.
It read, "i Models International".
Sounds familiar but then again, all their names sound the same anyway.



I tried slapping myself after that to check whether i was dreaming.
Apparently not.
I still have the card with me though haha.
I'm still in disbelief that some nutter from a modelling agency would
approach me and wanna recruit me.
Probably signs that this world is ending soon or well probably not.
You be the judge.

An annonymous tagger left a message on my tagboard saying,
"Moving on is simple, its what you leave behind that makes it so difficult"
Its true.

Should i move on in life, should i wander around in circles or
should i try and try again?

Its difficult and painful enough thinking about it.
And its a totally different thing altogether when you're going through it.

"The only constant in life is change"

"Whatever the outcome or consequences, Life still goes on"

Yes it seems so cliche.
Just like the excuses all of us come up with.

As always there is never an easy way out.
Sacrifices have to be made and there will always be setbacks.
I wont hide from it all.
I'll face my fears and take my chances.

Someone asked me once, if I had one wish, what would it be.
My reply was ,"To live life with no regrets".
It may sound a bit ambiguous but the idea of making decisions
and picking the right choices without regretting aferwards
do sound too good to be true.
In fact I soon realise a major flaw in that wish and it can
only occur in paradise.

It got me thinking.
If we did not make mistakes and never regretted for once in our lives,
do we know what pain and suffering is?
And since we never regret anything at all, wouldnt that mean our life
is so perfect.
Yes.
so in other words "To live a life with no regrets" = "To live a perfect life"
which of course will never materialise in this world.

My wish is too idealistic.

Of course i've regretted many things that i did or did not do in the past.
And come to think of it, I've learnt a lot from my mistakes.
I managed to avert the same kind of disaster and in the process,
I was able to do stuff that I didnt regret.
In other words, i'm grateful and i owe it to myself making mistakes in the past
so that i become a better person in future.

If you aked me if i've regretted doing anything in the last 2 months,
I would say no.
I've learnt my lesson and I've at least tried my best in salvaging the situation.
Maybe i can try again.
Theres no harm in trying.

Mungkin Nanti---Peterpan
Sahajaku berkata
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua
Ku yakin inilah waktunya

Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba
Tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini

Dan bila hatimu termenung
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu
Cerita saat bersamaku

Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba
Tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini

Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba
Tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi
Simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari
Semua rasa yang kau beri
...............................................................................................................
I used to just like the song.
But now it seems to hold so much significance.

I came across this rather amusing but politically correct piece of information
on urbandictionary.com
It got me laughing the moment i read it.
I know this will probably offend those people who fits the description.
But what the hell...
I share the same sentiments as the guy who posted it.
haha here goes.
....................................................................
Definition of a Minah
The opposite of mats.
The female sub-culture of the malay community in singapore, or neighbouring malaysia.
They wear tapered pants, g-strings and uber tight clothes when they know they're fucking fat.

How these mats still get turned on by them is beyond anyone.
How to identify them:

1-At an average of 5 words, the word 'sial', or 'siak' or 'siol' will be used. These words are phrase emphasisers like fug or shit in their mother tongue, malay.

2-They are fucking anoying hoes who tune their cheap ass nokias with fucking loud speakers and play the same monophonic ringtone again and again repeatedly in the fucking bus or train and never get bored with it. They always appear to have different opinions and comments about it.

3-They're fuckin dumb

4- they're broke as fuck like they're male counterparts (mats)

5-you can find them at any void deck of any hdb flats in singapore. They're usually in large groups, of about 8, playing shit music on some cheap ass guitar, sharing a cigarette.

They're comparable to the blondes of america except,
they're fucken ugly like 90% of the time.

If u get called a minah, u've been insulted beyond recognition.
Its so bad, u'll lose the purpose of living.

"Hey minah, can u shut that fuck cheap ass nokia of urs?"
........................................................................
LOL
I wanted to post this at Friendster.
But they kept showing that warning message about inappropriate content.
I guess Friendster has their fair share of its minah supporters.
hahaha

Well i really appreciate the well wishes.
Thanks again.

Well the pain from the wound has gone and the bleeding has stopped.
But its still swollen.
Both my cheeks are still swollen too.
It gives the impression that i've been punched in a fight
or just puffed up like a teddy bear.
And it doesnt make the situation any better when both
my sisters make fun of me. wtf!

Well another good thing is i dont have to live off on porridge anymore.
But i still cant chew my food.
You wonder how i eat my food?
Simple, just swallow them full hahaha.
I sucked the taste first, mash them with my tongue and just swallow.
It will be another few days before i will get to eat chewy food.
its not the end of the world
but still,
its gonna occur soon.
muahahahah

I had my surgery to extract my 2 wisdom tooth done in the morning.
well here's a recount of my traumatic operation.

950 am
my mom and i arrived at the National Dental Centre
did all the paperwork and then we were made to wait

1010 am
ushered into the changing area and i had to wear those surgery robes,
a plastic head covering and a plastic covering for the shoe
then i was made to wait some more

1015
the doctor briefed me on the operation and what was to expect

1020
entered the operation theathre.
they covered my eyes with some cloth and then
they gave me an injection of anesthesia.
at both sides at the back of my mouth there (around the wisdom tooth part).
the needle was soo large, i swear those faint hearted would have passed out haha.
of course it was painful you dummy!
but soon after that my whole mouth went numb.
contrary to what i was told at the last appointment,
i was actually awake throughout the whole operation!
and yes even with the anesthesia, i experienced pain too.
they drilled open the back of my mouth so that they could get the tooth out.
and then they forced the tooth out.
it was made worse when i could hear the sound of my tooth cracking.
then they stitched up the wound.
i could feel the thread on my lips when they were stitching it up.
then they did the same thing to the other side.

the whole ordeal lasted like 20-25 minutes.
and after that i was put under observation for another 20 minutes.
i was made to bite on cotton gauze so that the bleeding would stop.

after all that, i finally manage to get out of the waiting room.
and i was scheduled to go for a check-up on the 25th.
i was given mc till the 17th.

after all that i went to take a cab home.

my cheeks are swollen.
i look like a puffed up teddy bear.
damn...

yes i'm still experiencing some pain.
and the worse thing is...
I CANT CHEW MY FOOD!!!

I ate porridge for lunch and dinner just now!
I'm advised not to chew at the operative site for several days.
WTF!!!
i'm to eat porridge only???!!!!
noooooooooo
whats the point of living when i cant eat what i want!?!?!?!

and even speaking out loud hurts.
...

lets pray for my speedy recovery...
i dont want to be stuck like this forever.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil'adha !
or Selamat Hari Raya Haji !

This years celebration took place at
71 Jalan Hang Kasturi, Taman Skudai Baru, Johor.
Erm thats the address of my house in johor btw.


Yes thats the place!




The cow thats about to be sacrificed.
My whole family's sacrifice.


Leather anyone??? haha


Time to spill your guts!!!!



I considered bringing the cow's head home and maybe hang it
on my door! But then what will the immigration officers say...
hahaha




Another reason why i love celebrating hari raya in johor!!!
The explosives and the rocket propelled fireworks!!!!
All of you back in singapore are soo deprived of this!!!



More Fireworks...





As usual,my uncle and I, are always the crazy ones.
The rest of my cousins are too scared to light up the fuse.



Holy smokes!!!! My ears are ringing from that explosion!!!!



The cherrie bomb exploded and that was left was that crater!!!
hahaha



Everyone wanted to see the damage done.



After we were exhausted of our explosives and rockets,
we were left only with sparklers!!!


Haha! Selamat Hari Raya Haji once again!!!!

There aint no sunshine... today.
In fact it did not stop raining since last night.
But I'm not complaining.
Luckily i went out yesterday and though it was drizzling a bit,
i still had a superb time. =)

And so the weather stopped me from doing anything productive today.
All i did was clear my room of more thrash and then i was
enticed and seduced by my comfy bed
and the great-to-sleep-in-this-kind-of-weather!

Most of my guy friends are already in Tekong!
well all da best to them and hope they suffer!
wahahaha
I know i'm a sadist.

ok thats all

Had a great day yesterday. =)

even the thought of having to go for surgery next friday to extract my wisdom tooth
could not mar what fun i had yesterday.
I went to SGH in the morning to have a dental check-up.
Then right after that I went back to pj to crash the orientation.
Went with JJ.
Met up with my odac juniors and the slackerz gang.
And also met my gf (duh! how can i give it a miss hahaha)
We reached pj around 1-15 pm and they were having their cca fair.
Booths of all the ccas were on display at the concourse.
Of course i went straight to odac's booth.
Figured out the intake for this year was way much lesser the previous one.
And there were not so many mats and minahs this year. (LOL!)
Disturbed Wendy when she was with her OG.
She was more like whining than cheering though. hahahaha
Disturbed a few of my other juniors that were ogls too.
Then went to meet up with my other friends such as Karwai, Shamus and LA.
JJ and i basically hung around the school till 330 pm when the whole cca fair
ended and when my gf finished her lessons.
Then we all went home.

Today is a special day too.
A happy occasion.
Go figure!

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

I believe in that saying now.

I shall not say"nothing" when indeed there is something to be said.
I shall just say what i wanna say even though it is difficult to express.
I shall be more sensitive to others' feelings.

The rest i'll just keep it between the 2 of us.

I'm glad the air is cleared now.
No more misunderstandings, no more paranoia.
I would never have thought of doing that.
Rest assured I'll always be there for you.

A happy 2006 you say???
as if!
there's nothing to be jolly about.
i seriously think those people dancing and frolicking at siloso beach were idiots.
if only some sadistic bastard planted a bomb there and made them
countdown to their deaths...
WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING!!!!!

well the only people that are happy are the ones living beyond the third world.
that means more than two-thirds of the world population
are living in dire straits.
poverty, war, social unrest and political agendas
are stripping them of happiness.

I'm dedicating this piece to them
............................................................................
The world is about to end,
like what the prophecy says.
Cherish your life while you can,
For it might just be your last day.

Despair and destruction fills our eyes,
Wherever the weak seems to dwell.
Talk of hope are just lies,
When no one can break this spell.

Fear and sadness seems to terrorize,
anyone in its path.
happiness and joy have just vaporised,
and no one knows how to laugh.

A happy 2006 you say?
But I beg to disagree.
When the world is in such a way,
no bliss, no peace and harmony.
...................................................................mdj

its 2006
but it seems so surreal.
it always does.
a new year, a new beginning, a better life (i certainly hope so)

it must be the new year bug...
i dont feel like blogging right now.

MDJ
First April Eighty Seven
md_djfk@hotmail.com
Seri's
UnEmployed

Alia
Dayana
Ezila

Fadzil
Fairus
Fana
Feeza `

Liyana A
Liyana J
Mira

Nizar
Noor
Nurul H

Rebecca
Rin `
Rizal

Sis!
Siti

Umar
Wa~na
Wendee
Yatee`